Monthly Archives: May 2015

Midnight Musings of Motherhood {Awaiting Someone New}

This is for all of you who are part of the beautiful village that helps to raise Holy parents and Precious children. I know you’re anxiously waiting to meet Someone New too.

Two more days and our little man will be here. I’m lying in bed awake, feeling him kicking and rolling around and I am giddy and a little sad and deliriously happy and a little apprehensive all at the same time. I’m feeling the mix of emotions that most moms likely feel just before meeting Someone New for the first time.

I’m giddy….It’s been 38 weeks and 5 days that Someone New’s body has been nestled inside mine like a Russian stacking doll. He’s been growing, changing, nurtured and has already received a Calling from God. Someone New has been formed by God, is intimately known, treasured, loved by Him. Someone New has already been Jackson Henry Aaron to God for some time and I wonder – is his name our creation, or another one of God’s?

I’m a little sad. Soon, Someone New’s kicks and frolics won’t be a secret just between him and I anymore. Our late night moments of quiet prayer for Daddy, Sisters Theresa and Chelsea, Family  and Friends won’t always be as quiet, secretive or intimate anymore. Someone New’s cries may wake others and our late nights and early mornings will be met with new routines – beautiful and exciting for sure, but different. There is a little sadness knowing something precious is passing away.

I’m deliriously happy as I gaze upon newborn clothes, cloth diapers, tinkly baby toys and impossibly small socks. Someone New will be here soon! Routines will change, kisses will fly around and land on cheeks and foreheads and tummies like soft butterflies that tickle and delight. Tiny hands will grasp delighted large fingers. Tears of joy will stream down faces cracked wide open with toothy grins. Ear to ear, we’ll smile as we coo and stare in amazement   at this tiny miracle – Someone New.

I’m a little apprehensive…because I wonder…why me? This blessing is so great. Will I fail in gracefully receiving it? There is so much excitement, so many plans unrelated to Someone New right now – an inevitable move, lack of reliable transportation, job insecurity, a return to homeschool, friends in crisis, a Pastor moving away and a church in transition. How will Someone New fit into all of this?

I touch my belly and I imagine Someone New and I whisper together – “Jesus”. And somehow that’s enough to explain it all for me. He is enough to relax our bodies and bring me peace.  Jesus – You are enough. You know this Someone New and You will be ushering him – Jackson Henry Aaron into the world soon. It will be Your skilled hands continuing to knit and stitch our hearts and lives together – mending what is broken and polishing what has become dull. You will continue to know us, love us, mold us. We need only to rest in You as we are introduced to and embrace Someone New.

Amen.

(Jackson is due to be brought into the world via cesarean section on Wednesday May 20th, 2015. Please remember him and I in your prayers that day. Be looking for pictures both on this blog and on my Facebook page: https://m.facebook.com/nestfulloftirados )