50 Shades of Wrong

There has been a huge uproar online lately about the new film 50 Shades of Grey. I know most of you have your own well-formed opinions on the book and the film and that’s fine. You are welcome to share them in the comments section below, respectfully. Personally, I have my own take as well. I’m looking at this situation from the angle of someone who has struggled with sexual sin and finally overcame it thanks to the power of the Lord. If this is you or someone you know, read on!

Several years ago, I struggled with sexual sin. It had a strong hold on me and I felt as though I would never break free from it. A couple of friends and a neighbor tried their best to help me, but I was too stubborn to look at the full scope of my actions and understand the consequences of my choices. I didn’t want to make choices or actively work towards healing. I wanted to sit back and allow God and my friends to do it all. Overcoming sexual sin and addiction seemed like too much work. Besides, I was busy raising two kids while my husband was deployed. If God wanted this sin gone, He was going to have to do it!

Oh boy. Remembering who I was back then is painful. I was an unrepentant sinner who was actually proud of her sin! It was fun to be rebellious. And then my husband threatened to leave me, my friends stopped calling, I lost a baby just a couple of days before Christmas, and I fell into a deep depression. I wanted to kill myself and if it hadn’t been for my precious daughters, I just might have gone through with it. I’m glad now that I didn’t.

Struggling through the depression, I relied heavily on God to bring me through. The church I was attending was falling apart. The new Pastor was the husband of the woman I’d once called “best friend”. She and I were no longer speaking, so I felt it best to leave. Each morning, I woke up before my girls and spent an hour in prayer and in BIble reading. I learned to chant the Psalms as an offering to God and I prayed through Proverbs 31 every day. I desperately wanted to change who I was. I knew the Bible held the answers I was looking for.

Slowly, slowly, changes began to happen. My husband chose to leave the Navy behind and we moved to another part of Washington state. We had more time to focus on our marriage and our family and a whole lot more quiet time, since we were about an hour from the nearest large city. I continued to read my Bible and as I did, I realized the value in surrounding myself with only the best in life. When I focused on the people, thoughts and messages that portrayed the type of wife and mother I wanted to be, I found myself more motivated to become that kind of person. Whenever I watched a sexually explicit or violent movie, I found myself taking two, three, and even four or more steps backward in the wrong direction. The more I prayed for healing and change, the more it became apparent that I was going to have to purge my home and my life of anything and everything that didn’t reflect the type of woman I wanted needed to be.

One day after praying again for healing, I was inspired to throw out over 75 movies, 50 CDs and several books that just didn’t fit in with who I was wanting to be. It was difficult at first because some of the books, movies and CDs had been my favorites for years, but the more I kept at it, the better I felt. When I was done, I was amazed at all the junk I was letting into my life! My DVD and CD collection was rather sparse, but I felt full inside. There was more room for God and much more room for improvement and healing.

At first, Anthony was pretty upset at some of my choices. A few of the movies and CDs I’d thrown out had been his initially, but when I explained why I chose to do what I did, he came around a bit. Nearly three years later, he sees the fruit of that labor and he’s blessed by it. Our marriage has been really blessed by it as well.

I still struggle with temptation from time to time. When 50 Shades of Grey was first published, I kept hearing what a wonderful book it was. I was tempted to read it. I even went to the library with the intention of checking it out, but when I picked up the book and read the back cover, I just couldn’t justify taking any steps backward. God has brought me so far! Why would I want to unravel that just for a book?

Recently, I had this epiphany that every time we sin, we’re essentially saying that we can do whatever we want because Christ is already dead. It’s akin to spitting or dancing on His grave. We’re saying that His sacrifice is no big deal, but really — it is! Christ died for us. He died to set us free from the bondage of sin and death. He died to not only save my marriage, but to save my children from a poor, ugly Mother. Sin makes us ugly and weak. It removes everything that is good from our lives and replaces it with utter filth. We are left wearing nothing but rags and carrying around rotten bits of filth, attempting to offer it to God as a sweet sacrifice. It is not, Brothers and Sisters. It’s an abomination.

Sexual sin, or any other sin for that matter, is not worth denying the power of Christ’s sacrifice for us. It’s not worth spitting on His grave. We can dance, but let’s make that dance with Jesus, in victory and celebration of all that He has done for us, in us and through us. Let’s dance because He has overcome sin and death and made a way for us to join Him in Paradise.

I beg of you Brothers and Sisters, put away the things that are holding you back from freedom. Put away the things that cause you to take two, three, even four or more steps backward. Live in the Light and walk on the path that Christ has set out before you. You don’t need a book or a movie such as 50 Shades of Grey to spice up your love life or provide entertainment. You can read Song of Solomon/Song of Songs with your spouse, go on a leisurely walk, get to know one another all over again, and still have the same result.

I pray that each person reading this experiences a revival in their marriages. May God grant you renewed intimacy with your spouse and hope for full healing from whatever sin issue you are dealing with. There is no sin too big for God to overcome.

In Christ,

Mandy 🙂

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