My husband and I are blessed with two amazing, beautiful girls. They’re so full of love, kindness and compassion. Both girls are sensitive and caring. Sometimes I look at them and I wonder how and why I became so blessed. Me, who is completely undeserving of anything good in this life. Yes, those are my thoughts more often than I would like to admit. Do you ever feel like this, too? Do you ever look at your children, your inheritance from the Lord, and wonder “Why God? Are You sure You knew what You were doing?”
Growing up, I don’t really remember feeling all that special except on Christmas and my birthdays. Most days I just felt like I was in the way all the time and to be honest, I was completely embarrassed about who I was. Nothing I wore was right, my body was a funny shape, I weighed too much, I laughed too loud, and I wasn’t very smart. Everything I did was wrong somehow. Fast forward to now and I still feel the same way most days. In my own mind, I’m the worst parent in the world and I have no business having kids. Why? Well, I gave my kids peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for the sixth school lunch in a row. I have a large load of laundry sitting in my living room that needs put away and I keep falling asleep every afternoon while the kids are doing their homework. I’m pregnant and exhausted and need much more help than I want to admit this time around. When Theresa, my seven-year old asked her tenth question in a row the other day, I cut her off and told her “no more questions!” I would’ve encouraged her curiosity, but frankly, I was exhausted and my brain wanted to shut down.
When I have these feelings of inadequacy, my first tendency is to believe the lie that I’m an unfit mother. It’s difficult to accept that these are normal parts of life. I don’t want to be normal. I want to be the best Mother ever for my children. I want to have a clean house at all hours of the day, make an organic home cooked meal from scratch every night and spend hours answering all their questions because that feeds their inquisitive minds, but that’s not a realistic picture of daily parenting, and I’m often falling completely short and feeling disappointed with myself. Sometimes I just have to tell the critical voice inside my head to hush up! I can’t be all those things all the time, especially at this stage in life. And that’s okay.
If you’re like me and having a hard time loving yourself and affirming your positive qualities, I want you to take some time to make a list of at least 10 things you’ve done right this week. Then go hug your kiddos and tell them how much you love them. Don’t believe the lies, Mama. You’re not a terrible mother. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes.
Let’s Pray: Heavenly Father, I lift up Mothers everywhere to You and ask that You would comfort us in our moments of feeling inadequate. Remind us who we are in You. Thank You for the blessing of children. Thank You for all the work You have done and are doing in our lives. In Christ’s Name we pray. Amen.
Ten things I’ve done right this week:
- Daily affirmations for my children as I drop them off at school. (I’ve only missed 1 or 2 days this entire school year!) 🙂 I remind them that “You are beautiful. You are smart. You are important. You are a daughter of God. No one can make you feel bad without your consent. Mama loves you. You’re going to have an awesome day!”
- I feed my kids fruit for their after school snack
- I read 3 chapters of Bambi to the girls last night instead of the usual 1 chapter
- I allowed the girls to choose their own dinner last night. They ate it all! WOOHOO!
- They ate a hot breakfast this morning
- I cuddled Theresa on the couch last night
- I let Chelsea make her own PB&J sandwich Monday. She was really proud of herself and was glad I stood there watching her doing big girl things
- I helped Chelsea write her very first letter to Santa last night. She was so proud of herself.
- I ask the girls about their day and high-five them on their accomplishments
- I made a pie with the girls last week for our church’s holiday bazaar. They were really excited to drop off their creation for sale.