There is a very wise man at my Mother’s church who is constantly inspiring me to consider my surroundings and do better each day. Some of the pearls of wisdom that he’s imparted on me has saved me from making some pretty big mistakes in my life. I’ll never forget the words this man told me on my wedding day.
K.P.: “You want to know how to avoid an ugly fight in your marriage?”
Me: “How, K.P.?”
K.P. “Never go to bed angry.”
Me: “Ok.” (slight trepidation here, as that doesn’t seem to be enough to me.) “Anything else?”
K.P.: “Yes, when you get mad at your spouse, talk to him. If one of you tries to start a fight and then just shuts off, it doesn’t help. So you know what you do?”
Me: “Nope. What do I do?” (I’m an intrigued 22 year old bride now! I think he’s about to make a joke of some sort, as he’s smiling a big, cat-like grin.)
K.P.: “You look right at your spouse and you say ‘OK. Let’s you and me fight.’ and then you go at it until you’re done. But you can’t go to sleep until you’ve made up.”
Me: (open mouthed. What?)
But it’s been some of the best advice for marriage that I’ve ever received! It’s also led to some pretty sleepless nights over the course of our eight years of marriage, but Anthony and I have (mostly) stuck to that pearl of wisdom and every time we’ve stayed up to fight, we’ve resolved it within hours. Not days, hours. And we’ve had some pretty silly, knock down, drag out fights. But here we are. We’ve made it through a lot and I think that really says something, especially considering I’m an Aries and he’s a Taurus and we’re both extremely passionate and stubborn.
Something else K.P. (the wise man) has taught me is to “always taste my words before I speak them.” I just recently picked that one up, and I’m using it to my (and others’) advantage. I used to have a big, big problem with cursing. I know that I still curse from time to time, especially when passionate (or tired) about something, but it’s miles better than it used to be. I’m a work in progress and I’m happy about that.
Not too long ago, I was blessed with the privilege of being a part of my Mom’s church’s book club. We read R.C. Sproul’s the Holiness of God. I was the youngest one in that group by about 30 years. There were six people who regularly attended the group, including me. In all, there was a collective 370 years (give or take 5-10) of life experience and wisdom in the room, not including my 30 years. I remember sitting in the room, thinking “Wow. How did I get so lucky to be here?” It is a blessing to gain wisdom from your elders. Do not neglect this blessing when it comes your way.
The following wisdom from Titus, chapter 2 has surfaced to mind each time I consider the blessing of gleaning wisdom from my elders.
Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
Titus 2:2-5 NIV
I’m so grateful for people in my life who have mentored and disciple me thus far. I hope someday I can return the favor and pass it on to someone else.
Do you have anyone in your life that is consistently encouraging you to do good? Leave a note about them in the comments.